Posted by Jeff on 11/05/2009 12:06:00 AM


As you already know, Dethklok is the biggest band on Earth. Ever. The Norwegian death metal band boasts a fan base of millions who willingly risk life and limb (and often end up losing both) just to see Dethklok play. The band is so big that it ranks as the world’s seventh largest economy. So  powerful that it’s been called “the world’s greatest cultural force.” So unreal that it’s a … cartoon.
Dethklok’s wildly popular animated series, Metalocalypse, returns this month for its third season on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. The series’ creator, writer, songwriter and resident guitar god, Brendon Small, is currently touring America with a live-band version of Dethklok, performing such timeless classics as “Bloodrocuted” and “Briefcase Full of Guts” under an animated screen.  The band’s second album, Dethalbum II, debuted in September at #15 on Billboard, making it the highest-charting death metal album in history. 

Team Last Call: I’m trying to imagine the initial pitch you made to the network for a cartoon about a death metal band that murders its own fans.
Brendon Small: I work for a network that is contrarian, so they got it immediately. It wasn’t too hard of a sell. I know they’ve gotten tons of pitches for, like, “It’s a band, but they’re zombies.” This isn’t a new thing. It started with The Archies. They made millions of dollars off of this band that didn’t exist.


TLC: So, you basically get to make cartoons, tell jokes and play guitar for a living.
BS: I definitely have the ultimate job. I can’t think of any other job I’d rather be doing. The only bad part is that I talked people into financing it, and now I have to deliver it. Even though it’s fun work and it’s satisfying work, it’s still work. I don’t take vacations and I don’t sleep that often. Right now I’m at that point where I’m like, “Oh, wow. I’m missing deadlines on the writing side because I’m on the road. I wonder how that’s going to work out?”
 

TLC: You’re out-selling and out-charting the “real” bands, some of which, like Mastodon, you’re even touring with. Does that get uncomfortable?
BS: I don’t believe that people would buy my record in place of buying a Mastodon record. I think there’s room for everything. I think the only person I would be in direct competition with is if there were another cartoon metal band out there. And hey, any other dildo that wants to go create a TV show and do what I did – why didn’t you do it first?


TLC: Dethklok is kind of like the gateway drug of metal bands.
BS: That has been the coolest part about this. The thing that I get is, “Hey, this is my first metal show ever,” or “I never purchased a metal record before,” or “I don’t even like metal, but I like Dethklok. What else is out there?”


TLC: Goodbye Hannah Montana, hello Cannibal Corpse.
BS: If I can do just a little of that, then I’m happy.


TLC: For the uninitiated, can you explain the purpose of a pain waiver?
BS: A pain waiver legally disallows any liability for anything that could possibly happen to you within the realm of Dethklok. So you trip, you fall, you die … You basically fill it out and you enter your credit card number, your pin number, your social security number, your date of birth and all that stuff, and then we have rights to film your dead body, we have rights to all kinds of fucked up stuff.


TLC: It even says that if the sight of you getting murdered disturbs the band members …
BS: They have the right to sue you. It’s pretty harsh, but you gotta think about the band. You gotta make them happy. If you bum them out by dying in front of them, then they can sue you.



TLC: What do you think is the grossest thing that’s happened to audience members at a Dethklok show?
BS: I’d probably say falling in love with each other. I think that’s pretty disgusting.

TLC: What was your personal favorite crowd massacre scene to write?
BS: It’s hard to go beyond what we did in the first show, which was, they do a coffee jingle and they pour scalding hot coffee on people in these gigantic vats, and then they put cream and sugar on top of them too, just to humiliate them even more. We could launch convicted felons into the sky and destroy them with a laser beam if we wanted to, but that fucking coffee thing, it’s hard to beat that. I think tarring and feathering would be kind of fun. Like, smearing their collective faces into dog shit would be a funny thing to me.


TLC: What powers does Dethklok’s music have?
BS: There are things that happen once they get together and start playing. There are even possible supernatural things that happen. Sometimes they get together and play and the weather starts changing.


TLC: What’s next for Dethklok?
BS: They’re in a very precarious place since we left them in the last episode. They’re basically without a manager, and they’re driving their own business right into the shitter. This third season deals with a little bit more of that “OK, we’re up here. Who the fuck are we now? Now what do we do?”


TLC: And what’s next for you?
BS: In the near future, I see a vacation happening. I won’t fucking do anything. I’ll sleep and put on 40 or 50 pounds. Eat some really good food. Kill a couple of trannies. You know, the American dream.


*Reprinted from Fly Magazine

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